Mastering Manager-Subordinate Relationships: Building Trust, Setting Boundaries, and Thriving

Manager-subordinate relationships are among the most critical dynamics in the workplace. A positive relationship with your manager can lead to growth, development, and career satisfaction. But when the relationship is strained, it can make every workday feel like a struggle.

I’ve experienced both ends of this spectrum, and I share one of my more challenging experiences in my book, It’s Me, Not You: How I Survived Toxic Work Environments.

In one of my early roles, I worked under a manager who seemed determined to undermine my confidence and authority. They would assign me high-visibility projects but consistently dismiss my ideas during meetings, only to reintroduce those same ideas as their own later. Their micromanagement stifled my creativity, and the constant undermining created an environment where I felt powerless. Instead of staying stuck in frustration, I decided to take control of the situation. I started documenting everything, clarifying expectations in writing, and finding ways to align my work with their goals while maintaining my boundaries. Through trial and error, I learned how to navigate the power dynamics of this difficult relationship—and I want to share some of those lessons with you.

Why Manager-Subordinate Relationships Matter

Your relationship with your manager can shape how you feel about your work, influence your growth opportunities, and even affect your mental health. While a supportive manager can mentor and empower you, a toxic one can create unnecessary stress and stagnation.

The key is recognizing that while you can’t control your manager’s behavior, you can control how you respond and adapt. By understanding how to navigate these relationships, you can protect your peace, advocate for yourself, and even turn a challenging dynamic into a productive one.

Strategies for Navigating Manager-Subordinate Relationships

Here are three strategies that can help you thrive in your role, no matter the challenges you face:

1. Clarify Expectations Miscommunication is one of the biggest hurdles in manager-subordinate relationships. Proactively seek clarity on your responsibilities, deadlines, and goals. After key conversations, follow up with a quick email summarizing what was discussed. This creates a written record that ensures everyone is on the same page.

2. Manage Up with Emotional Intelligence Managing up means learning to work effectively with your manager, even if their style doesn’t align perfectly with yours. Pay attention to their priorities and communication style, and find ways to anticipate their needs. For example, if your manager values data, back your proposals with clear metrics. If they prefer concise updates, respect their time by keeping your communications brief and to the point.

3. Advocate for Yourself If you’re feeling overlooked or undervalued, don’t wait for your manager to notice. Schedule a one-on-one meeting to discuss your contributions and career aspirations. Be prepared with examples of your accomplishments and specific ways you’d like to grow within the role. Frame your feedback as solutions-oriented—managers are more receptive when you bring ideas, not just complaints.

   
   
   
   

Recognizing and Addressing Toxicity

Not all manager-subordinate relationships can be salvaged. If your manager consistently creates a toxic environment, it’s essential to protect your mental health and professional integrity. In such cases, focus on documenting incidents, seeking support from HR, and, if necessary, exploring other opportunities.

Final Thoughts

Manager-subordinate relationships are rarely perfect, but they can be navigated with intentionality and strategy. By fostering open communication, setting boundaries, and advocating for your needs, you can take control of your career—even in the face of challenges.

In It’s Me, Not You, I share more personal stories and practical tips for navigating toxic workplaces and building a career you love. If this resonates with you, I encourage you to grab a copy of my book and start taking charge of your professional journey today.

Have you faced challenges in your relationship with a manager? Share your story or ask your questions in the comments below—I’d love to hear from you!